The Monsters That Haunt You
by blahosaurus
Summary: In the wrong kind of darkness, there are things you can never hide from. When you are a puppet keeping nightmares at bay, you need something that will keep you above the surface. Complete.


The Monsters That Haunt You

He didn't understand. Everything was so confusing. Everything was _always_ so confusing, stuck in a puzzling world of darkness and death.

Of pain, and betrayal.

Betrayal caused by him. He was the one with blood on his hands. He was soaked in it, the crimson liquid dripping off him in sins and secrets.

And he didn't even remember what he had done.

He followed orders. That's what he was there for, he convinced himself. He had a purpose. He had an aim in life.

Do this

Do that

Say this

Shut up.

He was dancing to silence, the stings that wrapped around him tugging, moving him, pushing him over edges undiscovered and worlds he had never seen. Eyes so full of fear and hatred toward him that at night, when the barrier between him and the memories was not as strong, they came tumbling in, leaking into his mind like a disease, eating him away.

So slowly…

And something was wrong. Always wrong. There was a pain in his back, and he always felt so _cold_. And there was something missing. A rush in his body. A beating in his chest. Air past his lips.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

He didn't know what anything was anymore. Sometimes he was free to see the sky, so shockingly blue it hurt, or a turmoil of storm and thunder.

Sometimes he was caged in a castle which felt like poison in his empty veins. An oppressing corner in which he was trapped.

_Save Me_

And sometimes he was trapped within the confinement of his mind. One minute he would be trying to tease Kanna out of talking, or bothering Kagura to make her smile, and suddenly everything would go black. Black, and oh so very silent.

The silence of the dead.

He could feel the seconds drip by. Sand trickling. World spinning.

But nothing happened.

And then he would awaken again. Or sometimes he would catch glimpse of what was going on.

A horde of demons.

A cry of pain and fury

A little girl

A woman crying over him….

Yes, then came the face that would never go away. Like the feeling of pure, agonizing horror that stood at the other side of the spell, a sense of wanting to forget why so much blood tainted his hands. And in the darkness of the night he would see her eyes, so full of pain as she told him she loved him it hurt. It hurt past the ever present, numbing pain. It hurt in a place deep inside. Where his memories lie. Where the monster is hiding.

He couldn't stop thinking about her, for she was all he could think about. There was a giant, blank space where his memories lay, and there she stood, in the middle of it all, calling him.

_Kohaku…_

Just the way she had said his name when her tears washed over his face, and he screamed at her in return, deep inside.

The monster stirred.

So he pulled away and fled. Back to his cage. Back to the darkness. Back to oblivion.

But the more he tried to forget the more the woman dug deeper into his heart and mind. The less time he could banish her from his mind, until it was all he thought about. The only glimpse of her he remembered, her telling him that she would kill herself after him. That she loved him. That she was sorry. Her whispers and her tears and her love, all washing over him and taking with it a bit of the blood that was seeping into his skin, driving him crazy with remorse he found no reason to. Crazy with memories he could no remember.

So he had escaped. Escaped the castle he was chained to, the man who controlled his strings. All for this woman who's name he could not remember.

And now he was there, with her, and she was crying again. And he didn't understand anything. Why was she crying? He had told her he loved her back. that he couldn't stop thinking about her. He was young, but he would marry her.

And then her shining smile had faltered, and eyes widened.

"Kohaku…?" She had whispered. And once again he was lost.

Lost and confused, and in a world he didn't belong to.

He had explained himself to this woman who's name she told him was Sango. He told her how he remembered her crying over him, and telling him she loved him. How could he deny such raw love in someone's eyes? How could he deny the only person he remembered?

And then her tears had come again, but they were different. These were not like the ones when he told her he loved her, they were not shining with happiness. These were tearing at her soul as, suddenly, she fell on her knees and hit the ground until her hands were bleeding raw, skin uplifted, covered with bloody mud.

"Oh Kohaku, Oh, Kohaku. Oh…"

He didn't know what to do. He saw the world through half lively eyes, and across a lens of murky doubts.

He walked towards Sango, falling to his knees before her and wrapping his arms around her trembling form.

He felt her stiffen, and then relax under him, hugging him back with such ferocity she would have stopped his breathing, if he did at all.

"I love you Kohaku. I love you…"

_But…_

There was a but, he knew.

Yet, however….

"What is it?" He asked in a hushed breath.

_Just tell me. I know nothing of nothing, not even the comfort of knowing myself lies within me. Just tell me Sango. Just tell me…_

She pushed away from him, yet not pushing him away. She stared at him, as if trying to read emotions when all he held within him was pain and fear. And love for this one woman of his memories he could not remember…

She pressed her lips against him, a simple contact of skin, but it was enough for him as she pulled away, tears still dropping, still throwing themselves, suicidal over the edge of the world.

"Oh, Kohaku…" Again and again and again..

He didn't understand. Everything was confusing. Everything was _always _confusing…

"Sango, love! It's the hand! I swear it…oh, Kohaku!"

A man clad in purple, with a singing staff he had not heard through the pain in Sango's eyes. He seemed oddly familiar, but that didn't bother him so much. Everything was oddly familiar to him.

"Is he free?" His whispered question puzzled Kohaku. What did he mean free? Free of the pain and torture? Free of the memories at the edge of his mind? Free of the cage? Of the darkness? Of the spider in the closet of his mind?

No. No, no, no, no, no.

He looked back at Sango, but she was staring at the man, and in a quick flash he was at her side, helping her trembling form to stand.

Rings glinted in the glaring sun as the hands supported each other.

And he was left in the cold of the ground, even as Sango tried to help him up at the same time.

Kohaku looked at her eyes, then at his, and then his head bowed.

"Oh Kohaku…"

_Oh, Kohaku. _

And then he fled once more, away from her calling of his name and her tears and her smile and her love her did not understand. To the cage, and the darkness. To the pain. To lonely nights and lonely days. To wishing death upon him once again.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Every time Kohaku mentioned Sango I thought, really, wouldn't this happen? I mean, when he blushed when she held him… and all those- lady- moments…

I am completely against incest (well, reading it anyways), I won't really judge if a… this isn't really the point!

Never really read a Sango/Kohaku story, but oh well, this idea just wouldn't leave me alone!

Please review and remind me of how weird I am…


End file.
